Transformation in the world happens when people are healed and start investing in other people.
Michael Smith1
I watched this amazing movie called Collateral Beauty with the actor Will Smith. One of the most amazing scenes was an elaborate city of dominos that was set in his office. The dominos were spread across multiple tables and they were set up in all different colors, shapes and sizes. At one point in the movie, Will Smith touches the end domino and the chain reaction begins as they follow suit.
Officially, this is called the Domino Effect — it is a cumulative effect produced when one event initiates a succession of similar events.
I use this analogy as an entry point to talk about our willingness to change. When we change — the people in our sphere of influence change. And when they change, the people in their sphere of influence change. This creates a domino effect, which continues as change in each person effects another.
I serve on the Board of a faith-based company called City Plan. City Plan works with regional leaders throughout the world to equip and support transformative works within regions.
We have an incredible example of this domino effect, which occurred at a local middle school.
The school had been struggling with attendance and police involvement. Here are the Statistics from the School:
850 Students attending
698 incidents last year
53 incidents reported to the Police
Only 25% feel safe
Graduations – 69%
A team began praying together every Monday for the school, teachers and the students.
After 5 Months the statistics showed:
Only 2 on campus police reports. (There would have been 26 by this time based on last years numbers.)
Attendance went to 93%.
Two of the most difficult students are now the cheerleaders of the school.
The willingness to bring change created a domino effect on the entire school. Attendance is up, police incidents dramatically fell and just as important, the children were provided a safer place to go to school.
Incredible!
One of the first steps is recognizing you have a sphere of influence. And this sphere is influenced by your behavior, your decisions and your actions — whether good or bad.
Your sphere includes:
Your Family
Your Work Environment
Family Sphere
How do you want your family to grow under your leadership?
For my husband and I, as parents, we wanted our home to be a safe place for our children. We set boundaries to make our home that way.
Having a safe place was more important to me, because growing up my home was not a safe place. My father was bi-polar and an alcoholic. There were many times of great fun in our house, but it hinged on my dad.
My siblings and I were not allowed to talk freely, neither was my mom. We were always walking on eggshells, making sure we did not say or do anything to incite my dad. If we did, we definitely felt his wrath.
The sad part for him and our family was he refused all help, even when the company he worked for offered to help him. They paid for his initial treatment and offered to cover any additional treatment he might need. In the end, he refused their help.
My parents divorced after 23 years of marriage because my dad’s disease was so severe. He alienated everyone in the family. And my dad spent the latter part of his life alone.
I wanted my children to have a different experience. During dinner we had table talk, where the kids could talk about whatever they wanted. And whatever they shared at the table never left our house. They could feel safe and be heard.
We also rarely argued in front of our children. If there were a problem, my husband and I would talk about it together. Then we would talk with the kids.
Were we perfect parents?
Absolutely not! We did take classes on marriage and finances. We sought advise from others. At different points in our children’s teen years, we sought professional counseling to help us work out some difficulties.
We were willing to listen and grow. And that willingness changed their lives, which impacted their sphere of influence.
What are some of your areas to grow in that would have a domino effect on your spouse and your children?
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- What is your style of communication?
- Does your family have a safe zone to discuss struggles?
- Is each member in your family respected for their uniqueness?
This list is to grease the wheel and get you thinking. Talk to your family and see how each of you can grow. Then take a step toward making this change in your family.
One of my favorite resources is by Danny Silk, Loving Our Kids on Purpose.
“When love and freedom replace punishment and fear as the motivating forces in the relationship between parent and child, the quality of life improves dramatically for all involved. They feel safe with each other, and the anxiety that created distance in the relationships is chased away by the sense of love, honor, and value for one another.”2
I can help you with additional resources. Click to contact me.
Work Environment
How do you want to influence others in your work environment?
“Real Leadership is being the person others will gladly and confidently follow.” John Maxwell, Leadership 101
Not every leader has a title by their name. Sometimes it is your peers that have incredible ability; and, as John Maxwell says, you are happy to follow them.
When you carry that kind of influence you have a willingness to change. And when you experience change, you are excited to share the “How to” change with others. This creates a domino effect for you, your whole team and your company.
I worked for a company who believed in investing in their employees. At one point, they spent a year training us for the Malcolm Baldrige Award of Excellence. We learned how to take any area of the company and find ways to continuously improve.
I was in Human Resources and our customers were the employees of the company. One key area of focus was taking care of them and their families.
I learned how to develop and identify best practices as well as the art of problem solving in both the process side of our company and the personnel side. But, the greatest lesson was working together as a team toward the common goal of excellence.
At the same time this was going on I was having a huge conflict with my boss.
She was very likable, but we had one contentious spot — the job I had was beneath her. She said she would never learn or help us because it would make her look weak to management.
Of course, her attitude alone showed her insecurities, but at the time I was very young and could not see it. It just made me mad! It all came to a head when the person I worked with was on maternity leave and a temp was brought in to help me.
Well as it turns out, the temp wanted my job. My boss started confiding in her, and she would tell me, day after day until I had enough.
I didn’t go to my boss to work it out, like I should have. No, I told the temp how I could do my bosses job better. I also told the temp that if they ever had to lay people off my boss would be the one, because I knew how to do her job, but she didn’t know how to do mine.
The insanity of my insults played right into the temp’s hands — she immediately went and told my boss!
Fortunately, my boss was quite surprised and gracious. And I was able to share how I felt and I gained a better understanding of her. We were able to resolve the issue.
What are some areas for you to grow in that would produce a domino effect in your sphere?
Here are few ideas to get you started:
- How well do you engage with others in your work environment?
- Do you invest in others’ success?
- Where do you need to grow that will create the domino effect?
Understanding where you need to grow to produce the results you desire, and understanding the people you work with is key to your success.
I have two additional Blogs about Leadership you can read.
Also, you can download my free EBook, Relational Leadership: 4 Strategies and take the quiz to understand your Leadership Style.
If you need some help processing through any of these elements, I would appreciate the opportunity to talk with you. Fill out the Connection Form and we will begin the conversation. I am looking forward to assisting you in the journey of connecting to your best!
Remember, you are the best investment you can make!
1 https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/michaelws255468.html 101917
2 Danny Silk, Loving Our Kids on Purpose: Making a Heart-To-Heart Connection: 1